Step 5: Keep going · topic 2 of 2

Keep your confidence in a long search

If your search has taken months, you're in good company, and the numbers back that up.

A long search is common

In September 2026, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics counted 1.9 million people in the US who had been unemployed for 27 weeks or more. That's 27.1% of everyone unemployed. The median spell was 11.5 weeks and the average was 24.8 weeks (seasonally adjusted) ^[1]. Those figures count only people out of work, not people searching while employed. The average is higher than the median because some searches run much longer, and those longer searches are part of the normal picture.

Hiring itself is slow. In SHRM's latest benchmarking survey, the median time to fill a non-executive role was 39 days ^[2]. Greenhouse's data for companies using its software shows time to fill rising by about 37% between 2022 and 2025, while applications per job roughly doubled ^[3]. So a single role can take well over a month to fill, with hundreds of people applying.

Silence is usually about their bandwidth, not your worth

Not hearing back has become normal on the employer side. In a 2024 Greenhouse survey of 2,500 workers in the US, UK and Germany, 61% of job seekers said they had been ghosted after a job interview ^[4].

That number tells you ghosting is widespread. It doesn't tell you anything about you. When a reply doesn't come, it's worth separating what happened (no email yet) from the story you might add to it (they thought I was no good). The first is a fact. The second is a guess, and usually a harsh one.

In practice, if you've heard nothing three weeks after applying, assume that role isn't moving and keep going. If they come back, that's a bonus. After an interview, one check-in after the date they gave you is fair; the page on following up after you apply or interview has the details.

Why confidence dips, and why that's normal

Research on unemployment finds that being out of work lowers people's wellbeing on average, and that how long it lasts and the coping resources people have both matter ^[5]. Day to day, job seekers' mood and confidence rise and fall with how much progress they feel they've made ^[6].

So if you feel less sure of yourself in month five than in month one, that's an expected response to a hard situation. It isn't evidence that you've lost your skills.

If you're over 50 and wondering whether age is a factor, you're not imagining it. In AARP's research, about 64% of workers aged 50 and over said they had seen or experienced age discrimination at work ^[10]. It's a reason to lean on warm introductions, and it isn't your fault.

Things that help

1. Track your effort as well as your outcomes. Messages sent and conversations held are wins you control. The outreach tracker makes them visible.
2. Keep talking to people. People tend to underestimate how much others enjoy talking to them; one set of studies called this "the liking gap" ^[7]. And asking someone for advice, especially on a hard question in their area, tends to make them see you as more competent ^[8].
3. Treat yourself the way you'd treat a friend in the same spot. In a set of lab studies, people who responded to setbacks with self-compassion felt less distress while still owning their part ^[9].
4. Keep a "done" list. Write down one useful thing you did each day, even on slow days.
5. Make your days off real. Rest is part of the plan, and the search will still be there on Monday.
6. Ask for support. If low mood is lasting, or affecting your sleep, appetite or how you see yourself, talk to your doctor or a counselor as well as your coach. That's a sensible step.

If you ever feel you can't keep yourself safe, call or text 988 in the US ^[11], call Samaritans free on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland ^[12], or call your local emergency number.

Apply to the companies you want

When confidence is low, it's tempting to apply only where you feel safe. The page on picking target companies has my thoughts on not saving your favorites for later.